I spent Friday evening through Sunday afternoon steeped in stories. Arranged by Meg Gillman and facilitated by Elizabeth Ellis, the workshop I attended was an excellent way to spend the weekend.
Today, I spent the day with coworkers from CRCP discussing race.
It's interesting how you subconsciously get to know people as issues/stories are raised, responded to, and/or discussed. Although I can't name the subconscious "learning" that takes place, I am aware that it happens.
Monday, May 24, 2004
Wednesday, May 12, 2004
Possibilities
At a meeting today, I was reminded of my experience as a "Big Sister" a couple of years ago. My match, upon our first introduction let me know that she wanted to be a store manager when she grew up.
Being a store manager seems like a pretty worthwhile living. What struck me was that her goal was something she was proud enough to have dreamt up that she introduced herself to me with it. It also struck me that her goal seemed a bit fixated on stores.
After a few questions, I learned that at some point in her family's past her mother had been a store manager. (For some reason, the position wasn't permanent.) This position, in my little sister's eyes was the Big Time-- and she was aiming for it.
I made a point of exposing her to wider selection of Big Time careers. I brought her to my alma mater and gave her a tour of the engineering classrooms; I talked to her about friends in medical school, friends graduating from law school, friends working as professionals in different fields.
Almost immediately, her visions of her future reflected the input. From "I want to be a singer" one week to "I want to be an engineer" the next, it seemed clear that her imagination had been given a little more wiggle room within which to play.
At any given point, there are countless possibilities open to the average adult. But, just like the many children out in the world who have no idea what possibilities are open to them due to lack of exposure, many of us adults are walking around with blinders on. Where do the blinders come from?!
And, if we manage to remove the blinders or catch a glimpse beyond them-- what keeps us from heading in a new direction? Fear, stubbornness, pride, misguidance? "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush"?
At that same meeting, someone quoted Scott Fitzgerald
How do we learn to start over? How do we learn that it's okay if we might have to start over in the future?
"And if not a store manager, then a cashier. And if not a cashier, then a person who stocks the shelves..."
Being a store manager seems like a pretty worthwhile living. What struck me was that her goal was something she was proud enough to have dreamt up that she introduced herself to me with it. It also struck me that her goal seemed a bit fixated on stores.
After a few questions, I learned that at some point in her family's past her mother had been a store manager. (For some reason, the position wasn't permanent.) This position, in my little sister's eyes was the Big Time-- and she was aiming for it.
I made a point of exposing her to wider selection of Big Time careers. I brought her to my alma mater and gave her a tour of the engineering classrooms; I talked to her about friends in medical school, friends graduating from law school, friends working as professionals in different fields.
Almost immediately, her visions of her future reflected the input. From "I want to be a singer" one week to "I want to be an engineer" the next, it seemed clear that her imagination had been given a little more wiggle room within which to play.
At any given point, there are countless possibilities open to the average adult. But, just like the many children out in the world who have no idea what possibilities are open to them due to lack of exposure, many of us adults are walking around with blinders on. Where do the blinders come from?!
And, if we manage to remove the blinders or catch a glimpse beyond them-- what keeps us from heading in a new direction? Fear, stubbornness, pride, misguidance? "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush"?
At that same meeting, someone quoted Scott Fitzgerald
Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist but the ability to start over.
How do we learn to start over? How do we learn that it's okay if we might have to start over in the future?
Wednesday, January 21, 2004
Dreams
What did the anxiety dreams of cavemen look like? Did they *have* anxiety dreams, or are anxiety dreams a product of modern society?
Common themes: showing up to work with no clothes on,
forgetting what room your class is in,
What would the caveman equivalent be?
When I am dreaming I have a hard time reading numbers. Is that what it feels like to have dyslexia?
Common themes: showing up to work with no clothes on,
forgetting what room your class is in,
What would the caveman equivalent be?
When I am dreaming I have a hard time reading numbers. Is that what it feels like to have dyslexia?
Friday, December 12, 2003
Healing
Some relationships seem to be built out of brick. One could huff and puff. And nothing.
I imagine there are ways to compromise the foundation of any rock solid building. But are there ways to forge a foundation once it has been weakened?
A number of years ago, a huge flood swept through my home town. My grandmother's house was one of many that quickly saw water touch the ceiling (luckily she was not in her house at the time.) When the flood was over, the government came in and offered support. On top of that, they marked all the houses whose foundations had been cracked with a huge, red X. All the red X'ed houses were demolished within the year.
-----
It's a good thing that when one breaks a bone, the doctor doesn't mark it with a big, red X. Of course, the lack of a red X may lull limb abusers into a false sense of security! Will they realize that a healing limb cannot be taxed in the way it was designed to until it is fully healed? Will they understand that attempting to do so beforehand may hinder the healing process?
I imagine there are ways to compromise the foundation of any rock solid building. But are there ways to forge a foundation once it has been weakened?
A number of years ago, a huge flood swept through my home town. My grandmother's house was one of many that quickly saw water touch the ceiling (luckily she was not in her house at the time.) When the flood was over, the government came in and offered support. On top of that, they marked all the houses whose foundations had been cracked with a huge, red X. All the red X'ed houses were demolished within the year.
-----
It's a good thing that when one breaks a bone, the doctor doesn't mark it with a big, red X. Of course, the lack of a red X may lull limb abusers into a false sense of security! Will they realize that a healing limb cannot be taxed in the way it was designed to until it is fully healed? Will they understand that attempting to do so beforehand may hinder the healing process?
Perspective
When I was flying home for Thanksgiving, there was bad weather in Houston. "Bad weather in Houston" meant, I learned, "there may be too many people booked on this flight" due to a weight balancing issue.
I volunteered to take a later flight (for a $250 voucher). I would have arrived in San Antonio only 3 hours after my originally scheduled arrival!
Alas, my seat was not needed. In fact, it appears they didn't need to boot anyone off the flight. You could say that I was unlucky because I missed out on an opportunity for a $250 voucher. Or that I'm lucky because I arrived in San Antonio with no delay.
Perspective shows her worth once again.
I volunteered to take a later flight (for a $250 voucher). I would have arrived in San Antonio only 3 hours after my originally scheduled arrival!
Alas, my seat was not needed. In fact, it appears they didn't need to boot anyone off the flight. You could say that I was unlucky because I missed out on an opportunity for a $250 voucher. Or that I'm lucky because I arrived in San Antonio with no delay.
Perspective shows her worth once again.
Friday, November 21, 2003
Being present
Today while on my way to the Center for Reflective Community Practice at MIT, I ran across a huge student sign with a hand-painted picture of the Kool-Aid guy. I missed having a digital camera with me.
I wonder if we sometimes enjoy things less because we know we can capture it for later perusal. And, in the cases where we don't have the means to capture something for later with us at the moment, instead of hanging around and soaking it in as we might have before the means ever existed (for us), we lament "oh, I wish I could take a picture of that" as we hurry on by or stand there thinking about what we're missing out on.
When I see tourists viewing their surroundings through a video camera as they capture the experience for later, I can't help but feel their experience is altered because they are viewing their surroundings only through the small lens of a camera. What you experience when you walk into a museum is different than when you walk into a museum looking at a 2D version of it (unaware of what's above, below, or beside you...)
How differently do we behave when we feel what we are doing, seeing, thinking, or saying will be "reviewed" later & perhaps by other people?
Maybe it would be nice if people would take the mode they're in when "touring" and swap it with the mode they're in when driving, or waiting in line, or being served at restaurants.
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