I've been contemplating regret an awful lot.
A good friend got married last year. After the ceremony, in the big tent listening to toasts and being served dinner, I watched 3 years worth of her pictures projected on a screen. Dinner party after dinner party, birthday celebration after birthday celebration, outing after outing flashed by. Although I had been invited to most of the events, I was in only a small handful of those pictures.
I was working on a renovation project that turned out to be a much bigger job than I had expected. I was traveling quite a bit for work. I was working around my partner's schedule to be supportive. I was looking for a house to buy. I was balancing my checkbook. I was sleeping. I was being an absolute idiot.
None of these are excuses. They are just little snapshots of the things I had let balloon so large that other things were set aside for later. Not that I thought these other things weren't important. I just didn't realize how much time was passing. And how fast.
That slide show was a wake up call for me. The way I spend my time should be a strong reflection of the things I value. My friend and I spent much of this last year making time for each other -- I am very grateful for that. She moved away this morning and though I am filled with regret at all the time I lost, I look forward to the time that's yet to come.